Ten Commandments of Dialogue

In suggesting ten rules for entering into dialogue, Majid Tehranian of the Toda Institute contemplates the meaning and the magic behind the mediation process. Generally, a successful dialogue is initiated with the belief that the "truth" or "meaning" is not to be monopolized by one single person or entity. Therefore, "truth" has to be shared among conflicted parties. For this to occur, open mindedness in conversation on points of conflict must be present. Dialogue, in turn, becomes a contemplative process where parties both listen and talk.

The listening aspect of the process requires each party to evaluate its own truth claims in the face of what is being heard or examined. Dialogue, therefore, is some form of foreplay before serious negotiations commence. The point is to engender trust between all parties and bring about a mutual understanding before common ground can be found to reach the compromises necessary to reach a settlement. From a fiscal approach, dialogue can be seen as social capital formation. With all capital investments, time and commitment engender an investors’ ability to reap fruits. In other words, there is a growth period for social capital found in dialogue, after which, through decision making and cooperative learning, all entities and individuals can collaborate in a project with maximal efficiency and efficacy.

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The Toda Institute, in their efforts to build peace, has provided a tablet of Ten Commandments for Dialogue for use in complex conflict situations needing resolution. The Ten Commandments for Dialogue include:

1. Honor others and listen to them deeply with all your heart and mind.
   
   
2. Focus on the agenda while seeking the common ground for consensus, but avoid groupthink by acknowledging and honoring the diversity of views.
   
   
3. Refrain from irrelevant or intemperate interventions.
   
   
4. Acknowledge others' contributions to the discussion before relating your own.
   
   
5. Remember that silence also speaks; speak only when you have a contribution to make.
   
   
6. Identify the critical points of difference for further deliberation.
   
   
7. Never distort other views in order to advance your own, try to restate others' positions to their own satisfaction before presenting your own different views.
   
   
8. Formulate the agreements on any agenda item before moving on to the next.
   
   
9. Draw out the implications of an agreement for group policy and action.
   
   
10. Thank the other parties for their contribution.

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